Burst Toilet At Union Buildings Forces President To Work From Home

Pretoria - Emergency plumbers have been called in to rescue a critical situation at the Union Buildings after a burst toilet left the president unable to come into his office.

The Grapevine can exclusively report that, at around 4am today, Union Buildings staff were scrambling to contain the leak and required reinforcements. Suspicions are that a low-fibre-diet individual may have used the facilities and failed to promptly report the burst.

The president has since been forced to work from his now couchless Phala-Phala farm (you can’t be too safe nowadays). Our sources understand that this arrangement is not ideal for President Ramaphosa, as the lack of Wi-Fi in the area is proving highly restrictive when doing “President Things”.

Staff at the Union Buildings have reportedly been instructed to avoid the affected bathroom until further notice, with one official describing the situation as “a shitshow”.

It remains to be seen whether the pipe will be fixed in time, with the president reportedly hoping to return to the office before anyone notices he has been working from home.