Ramaphosa Ignoring ANC Leaders After Spring Day Splash Prank
PRETORIA — President Cyril Ramaphosa has reportedly stopped answering calls from senior ANC leaders after a Spring Day water prank left the president soaked and questioning the loyalty of his own party.
The incident, which took place during an informal gathering at the ANC’s headquarters, saw Ramaphosa drenched by a group of party officials who reportedly believed the president would appreciate the traditional celebration of the arrival of spring.
He did not.
“I’m not angry,” Ramaphosa reportedly told a staff member while staring at a wet pair of socks. “I’m just disappointed in what this party has become.” Since the incident, the president has allegedly ignored multiple calls from ANC leaders, including those seeking to discuss the country’s pressing political challenges and concerns about a missing pair of underwear.
“Cyril has seen all our messages,” said one senior party member. “He just replies with a thumbs-up emoji. We don’t know what it means.”
Meanwhile, Ramaphosa has reportedly instructed his security detail to confiscate all water guns, buckets and suspiciously large gardening hoses in his vicinity. He has also banned the song WAP from the ANC’s Spotify Jam after it was used to call him the “Wet Ahh President”.
At press time, the president was believed to be considering reviewing his options around bringing back the death penalty.
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